Use Somebody

[27th April 2014]

Here is a go at trying to detail just how awesome this weekend was…

No matter what I did that Friday, I could not get Ove off my mind. A replay of the sex I had with him kept running all day in the back of my mind as I was simultaneously sated and hungry for more. All the while I showered, and got dressed, and ran to the bus, and met my friend, and had lunch and went to classes… my whole world felt different. I felt energized and in a fantastic mood—empowered yet driven, and it felt like everyone I met, whether they were strangers on the bus or classmates, everyone seemed affected by my mood. Everyone was extra nice to me, and from the time I set foot outside until I came back home, I didn’t meet a single person that didn’t smile at me if our eyes met. Maja*, who I had lunch with, just would not believe me when I assured her that no I was definitely not high.

It wasn’t just my attitude though, there were physical signs of the encounters in my body that made it difficult to even try to push those shenanigans way. My breasts felt heavy and sensitive the whole day, like his hands were still massaging them, and my legs and crotch ached dully. But what was really odd was the feeling inside me; I felt stretched, achy yet empty for not having a cock inside. My woman parts tingled all day either in memory of the sex or in expectation of more… I’m not sure which, but I spent the day with damp panties.

It was only when I got home that  my amazing feeling started to ebb out a bit, since the reality of having to get ready for a night out in Lund that evening started to unfold. Lund is only a ten minute train ride away, and a huge university town, both Summer and I have friends studying there so sometimes we join them partying at their “Nations” where the drinks are super cheap. It’s really awesome, but going to Lund meant seeing my boyfriend and the thought of it put a damper on my feelings of excitement. I don’t know how to describe my feelings, because I wasn’t guilty, but I guess I was feeling a bit paranoid… because maybe he would sense it, maybe he might be able to still smell Ove on me or read my mind! Or even worse, what if he felt encouraged to do it? One thing I knew for sure was that I did not want to fuck him, but I also didn’t want him to find out about what I did. He is, after all, one of my best friends, and I had a feeling that him finding out that I cheated would definitely sour things more than a break up.

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But as I stepped out to the kitchen that night, waiting for Summer and Nemi to finish dressing so we could leave, I met Ove there, hanging out with two of this friends from the ‘real world’. The look he gave me when he saw me, made me forget all those apprehensive thoughts. It was knowing and seductively hungry, like his eyes had invisible hands that shot out to caress my breasts through my top. I felt a pang of arousal ring through my whole body, and for a moment it really felt like he was fucking me. I became so dizzy that I had to sit down. I could hardly get two words out as a greeting, and decided to bite my lip in case something damning might escape my mouth because I could already feel stickiness pooling in my panties.

Later on, on the train, I marveled at the fact that just one look could warrant such a visceral physical reaction from me. No matter what I tried to do to somber up, I just could not let go of my high spirits. He wanted me badly, and it aroused and energized me. I truly felt sexy and charming! And it was like I’d managed to glamor others into believing it too. That evening, everyone was interesting and funny. It’s like I’d arrived at the pre-party a little tipsy, despite not having drunk anything before. When we were dancing in the club, I was so in the ‘groove’ that guys kept coming up and hitting on me, even despite X being around. That. Never. Happens. Normally, I never get hit on in clubs; I’m the one who watches all my friends hook up on the dance floor and sometimes I actually feel really bad about it. But somehow, everything was magically awesome that night.

I stayed over at X’s place, even though the after-party ended at like five in the morning and we’d only have to wait an hour before the trains started going again. Summer had gotten herself a one night stand earlier at the club, and Nemi was too tired to wait for the trains, so we ended up crashing at his place for a few hours. Hanging out with him wasn’t particularly awkward, he seemed to be in a good mood too and as we chatted we agreed that it was an awesome evening. It wasn’t even weird sleeping next to him in bed either, he didn’t make a move on me and it just felt like hanging out with a good friend. This coziness only increased the imminence of our break up, I needed to do it ASAP— but half past five in the morning after a great night out when we’re both half-drunk was just not the right time. I spent my “nap” trying to figure out how to best do it, and sort of decided that I should just get it over and done with next time I saw him.

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I was super relieved when got home just after lunch time. Nemi was totally hung over and a little moody on the train ride, which was fine because I had until Monday to plan out my break up. Plus, I had to rest, seeing as that evening I was going out with friends from my course. Even though I didn’t see Ove at all on Saturday, that boost in confidence that he’d instigated in me was still working and I managed to have a delightful evening at the pub with them. I came home just after one, and got some much needed rest.

Next time I saw Ove was on Sunday afternoon, I was out in the kitchen doing some school work. I’d been there alone of a couple of hours, as the whole corridor seemed to be recovering from a hang-over. Summer still hadn’t come home, although she’d texted that she was alright and having great sex, Nemi had gone out on a date and Hampus, the last person I saw arrived home from a walk of shame, probably from his girlfriend’s place. All was quiet and peaceful, and I’d been very studious!

I was just thinking about how my body had gone back to normal again since Friday… the muscle aches had disappeared and my boobs didn’t feel sensitive anymore, when the devil himself sauntered into the kitchen. Such timing! I think I even blushed.

“’Morning,” he said casually, as nothing ever happened between us, walking over to his fridge.

“Good afternoon to you,” I corrected teasingly, trying to sound just as casual was he was. “Late night?”

“Yeah,” he smiled, turning to look at me. I just nodded, didn’t know what else to say. Bit my lip to shut up before I managed to say something awkward and embarrassing, but continued to gaze his way. Gosh he was gorgeous, even when he looked tired and dehydrated. I just wanted to go up to him and run my fingers through his hair. Think Rob Thomas from Matchbox Twenty, when he was young and had that great hair that framed his face, except Ove is blond.

“Have you eaten yet?” he prompted in Swedish after he’d poured himself a glass of milk.

“I had breakfast,” I answered slowly watching his Adam’s apple move as he drank.

“I was going to make ‘pytt i panna’, do you want some?” I nodded. I’d just been caught staring in flagrante. My face might have possibly looked like a drooling dog, I don’t know, because the look he gave me was not the tear-your-clothes-off one from Friday. He seemed reserved.

“Ok, then help me make it,” he said as he went back to his fridge and started taking stuff from his fridge. “I have some meat and potatoes left over from the other night. Can you find onions in my cupboard?” Then he turned to me and smiled, “Don’t worry, I’ll chop them. Will you chop the potatoes?”

“How many do you want?” I said getting up from the sofa. Trying to act as normal as he was.

“Two, I think.”

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I took out two onions has prepared two cutting boards and knifes on the widest part of the u-shaped kitchen counters, next to his favorite cooker. Yes, out of the two available cookers in the kitchen, Ove had a favorite one— one he swears heats up faster than then the other. I smiled to myself thinking about this, and felt him come to stand beside me placing the meat, potatoes and eggs in front of the cutting boards.

“Nemi told us all about your evening in Lund, yesterday. Seems like you had fun.” He said reaching for an onion. Could that be why he has reserved? ‘Cause I was out with X? The possibility of it being true annoyed me a little, because it’s not like we’re a thing! Plus, he’s into other girls and I don’t care if he goes out with them or not. It’s not my problem.

“Yeah, it was so awesome! The DJ was really good… what did you do this weekend?” I answered, inadvertently trying to make him aware that he too probably hung out with one of his crushes. I didn’t really dare look at him, so I immediately started chopping up the potatoes.

“Hung out with the guys on Friday, we ate dinner and then went to a pub at Möllan. Yesterday, we went out with other people from my class.  It was a pretty good night.”

It occurred to me, in a chilling moment, that maybe he wasn’t reserved because of what I was up to on my night out, but because things happened with Elin. The thought rattled me a little. Every now and again, while I was studying earlier on, I kept thinking about how good it felt to have him inside me… I’ve only just managed to have sex with him, and only the one time was really not enough. I wouldn’t mind a few more encounters, so I wasn’t really looking forward to hearing about any progress he’d made with her. In fact, despite how unhappy Ove would be, I really wished that things were going to hell with Elin— just so I could continue to fuck him a little more… I’m such a bitch, I know.

“Ooooh!” I said trying to sound normal pushing, my uneasiness down, completely morphing into the fake bitchy type that I so hypocritically hated in real life. I can’t really say I was feeling proud at that moment; I really wanted to be honest, kind hearted and encouraging— or if not encouraging, then at least not fake— but I just couldn’t figure out a good way to be that, or even to be my regular self. I just knew that I really, really, really wanted to continue to have sex with Ove, and that telling him straight out that he should put those two girls on hold to have sex with me until I don’t want the D anymore just wasn’t the best means to an end.

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So I kept my eyes on the friggin’ potatoes forcing my hands to continue chopping them. There was an unpleasantly high probability that the information I was going to receive from the question that I was carefully drafting for a nonchalant delivery was really doing to disappoint me. I had prepare my face for it and then figure out what do next— well, who to do next, I guess. In hindsight, I imagine that is exactly how the Disney villainesses feels when her plot has been thwarted.

“So,” I gave it a shot, as smoothly as I could manage and what I hoped as a hint of detached amusement, “was Elin around?”

“Yeah,” Ove answered stonily, “and later on I met up with Sofia as well. We had a few drinks, danced; it was nice.”

“And?” I pressed on enthusiastically, fakeness dripping from my voice.

“And nothing.” He said with an annoyed finality, and finished chopping the onions. I felt a disappointed pang resonate within me which left me feeling silly and awkward. I didn’t really know what to do or say next, so I just finished my task and was about to go and sit back down when Ove turned to face me after he’d pushed the onions onto a deep frying pan. “What do you mean anyway? Nothing happened, if that’s what you want to know.”

I bit my lip, kind of ashamed. I really shouldn’t have been mentioning them, not after what happened between us. And what was I doing anyway, with my embarrassing wannabe mean girl act anyway? But in my defense, I really didn’t know where to go from this. I was trying act normal, maybe it wasn’t the right way to deal with it, but was talking about what we’d done really any better? Sometimes too much talking spoiled things, I should know! Especially when I knew that Ove was actively pursuing them and that his interest in me was decidedly temporary and undefined.  I tried but couldn’t really bring myself to meet his eyes. Instead they landed on his crotch area, which really stood out from his jeans, something that I’d not really noticed before. In my awkwardness all I could think about was that I’d had him inside me, and the way his cock filled me up… and just the thought of sex with him turned me on a little.

“Um…” I answered incoherently, now blatantly staring at his goods.

“Oh, hell” he mumbled, and in one swift movement, he dropped the knife and pushed me with his body against the island in the middle of the U kitchen which housed our cupboards and two fridges. With his leg between mine, he pinned me to the wall and rather gruffly pressed his pelvis into to me, I was kind of thrown off and couldn’t do much but just went along with it, ignoring the slight scare I got. Leaning into my ear he whispered:

“I couldn’t really make a move on them since I had other things on my mind…”

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His right hand pushed my chin up to meet his thin lips in an ungraceful manner, and then trailed down my shoulders and breast until it tugged into the elastic band of my sweat pants. His fingers slid into my panties, and the realization of where his hand was sent a pleasurable current of arousal up my spine. He settled his palm against my mound and started to caress me with his middle finger; long, slow, soft strokes that started at the base of my cleft continued downward until his finger slipped into me. He spread the wetness all over my privates and his hand with every stroke while his other fingers massaged my outer lips. I felt his crotch harden against my leg. At that point I wasn’t sure what was going on but, it felt so good that I couldn’t help but moan into his chest, making him start to nibble my ear lightly, warm and moist air escaping into my ear as I moaned a little louder. I relished every stroke, every rub against my clit and every thrust into me.

Holy fuck! That was probably the most coherent thought that my brain was capable of producing in the midst of all that sensory pleasure that it had to contend with. His fingers quickly stopped feeling like a foreign object once they were wet enough, and he started to tease me; randomly alternating between finger fucking me— massaging what I would have to assume was an area close to my G-spot because every time those thick finger pads caressed that area my body just quivered with pleasure— and playing with my clit, his finger avoiding direct contact with its pinnacle but bringing me to the edge of an orgasm before he stopped. It didn’t take long before I realized, clouded as my mind was with pleasure, that I wasn’t even standing upright on my own. In fact, I almost started to fall when I felt his body step away from me a little.

“I want to taste you.” He whispered.

He stopped touching me, and with both hands slowly pushed by pants and panties down and he lowered himself onto his knees. I was vaguely aware of a trail of cold dampness on my right leg, where his hand had been, but I couldn’t really understand what was happening.  My head was an explosion of senses and thoughts, my eyes just followed the downward path of his hay colored curls. My pants were around my knees when his fingers opened me up for his tongue. He flicked over my clit a few times with the tip of his tongue, before he started sucking it in the most amazing way. He managed to sometimes lick the tip of my clitoris while sucking on it. That felt so fucking good, making me want more of his ministrations, forcing me to dig my hands into is silky hair as a way of relief, requiring me bite my lip hard to muffle the noises that my body couldn’t help but make. Then I felt his finger gently massage my opening, enter me and almost immediately find my pleasure spot. My God! I just couldn’t do much thinking, I was completely immersed in pleasure, my body begging for a culmination and release. I was so close to coming all the time, and would have done so immediately when his finger entered me if it weren’t for the strenuous act of having to keep myself standing. I welcomed every gentle thrust of his finger, every suction and nibble of my clit with little grinding movements of my own.

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I’d started to feel that warm tingling eruption in my core, when everything thing ceased. Confused, I watched Ove stand up almost panicked. It took me a few seconds to realize why… but then I started to hear the slow dragging swish of Phillip’s slippered feet dangerously getting louder down the corridor. Panicked, I just grabbed whatever I could hold on to at my knees and pulled it up, didn’t even worry about straightening everything up, so my panties felt eschew inside the sweats. I focused on Ove, who was then grapping the potatoes I’d chopped with the hand that was wet with my juices. I must have made some kind of shocked sound, because turned to me and winked.

“It’s my special ingredient,” he chuckled, while I just continued to stare wide eyed, first at his glistening chin and then at the potatoes in the pan.

My head was a mess, not able to decide whether what he’d just done was gross or incredibly sexy! He was out of my league. I couldn’t even understand how Ove thought of doing stuff like that. Stuff that inexplicably aroused me like never before. I mean just the thought of the possibility that he liked licking me so much that he wanted his food to taste like me— I couldn’t even! I didn’t even hear Phillip come in, and only realized his presence when the coffee machine started to rumble. Noticing him instantly awakened a powerful feeling of annoyance, all my cells wanted to scream at him, as I became aware of my throbbing cunt, which not even half a minute before was just about to orgasm! My privates were all wet and sticky, and my panties not even all the way up my hips, giving my front an uncomfortable wedge. For a moment I was too afraid to move, for fear of making sloppy wet sounds as I moved. And when I finally moved I did so slowly, mutely and settled myself in my regular seat by kitchen table and sulkily awaited my food, while I watched Ove and Phillip chat as if nothing had happened.

Ove is such a jerk!

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