Baby Got Back

[10th April 2014]

In recent times my life has been inundated with Ove’s weirdly suggestive behavior. Like today, I’m doing what I usually do: studying in the common room. I’m alone and preparing for a seminar when I drop my pen on the floor ant it rolls off under the sofa. Usually when people are around I take some care about bending down as I don’t want them to see my butt crack, or unattractive love handles what might want to make itself known to the world. However, since I’m all alone I’m not really conscious about dropping down on all fours to get the pen.

I have to struggle a little bit to reach it since it managed to roll pretty far in and my giant boobs were in the way for me to get under the sofa. At this point I’m totally face down ass up, swearing at the pen, not giving a flying fuck. So I nearly jump out of my skin when I hear Ove say from somewhere behind me in the room:

“Nice view, new jeans?”

The first thing I do is to immediately check that my ass completely tucked in my jeans, like they’re supposed to. And after I feel safe that he hasn’t seen something that he shouldn’t have, I feel the embarrassment warming up my face. For a really long time I just don’t get it; I’ve had these jeans since forever and wear them quite often… so I don’t understand what he’s being sarcastic about… in my head I’m still a little paranoid that maybe be saw something he shouldn’t have… like a hole.

“No…?” I answer, confused. And it takes me a while for me to realize that Ove is just being pervy and creepy. “These are like my oldest pair of jeans.”

“Huh!” he exclaims as a final response, like his behavior is totally normal. It’s about now that it dawns upon me that it’s my ass he noticed! Urgh, I’m so stupid…

In a way it feels good to get compliments like that, but it also feels weird because all of the other circumstances- like the fact that I’m secretly totally lusting after him. It’s barely even just a fantasy “look but don’t touch” thing anymore, mostly because Ove is making it feel like the fantasy has some potential due to his shenanigans. But then there is the question of X. Urgh, urgh, ugh. I AM so stupid!

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