I Need Some Fine Wine and You, You Need To Be Nicer

[28th March 2014]

Lately the Reach Game has acquired a new intensity. We seem to be playing it almost every day and the freezer tape messages are showing up in places outside the kitchen cupboards… like our doors, and inside our rooms! This time the game even turned into an elaborate feud:

Having finished my last exam yesterday early afternoon, I spent the day out shopping and on my way home much later I decided to go by Systembolaget to stock up for the party on Saturday. I text everyone on my floor to find out if they wanted me to get them something, since I knew that most of them still had exams or projects due. Almost everyone answered with requests, so it turned out to be quite the list! Luckily, Phillip offered to join me and help me carry the bounty home, since he had just finished his exam when I was heading to Systemet. I ended up getting myself an extra bottle of wine for myself as well, because I like me a glass of Riesling from the Mosel Valley every now and again— it’s the next best wine, since they don’t seem to sell a decent Gewürz at a reasonable price here.

So yeah, when I got home, I was able to distribute everyone’s booze, except for Ove’s. I stored our alcohol in the mini fridge in my room, and went back to the kitchen to make myself dinner, eat and hang out— the common room was thin on company then so I just ended up watching TV. Ove got home at around 8 and I, lazy as I am, told him that he could go and grab his beers from my mini fridge.

A while later I got a text from my mom, who wanted to chat with my over Skype. I figured it was a perfect opportunity to inaugurate the Riesling while chatting with her on the phone. Armed with my wine glass, I opened the mini fridge only to find it empty! Empty, but for a freezer tape message taped to the small freezer box:
“You have 24 hours to admit my greatness. Admit within this period of time and your alcohol will be returned to you.”

I was instantly annoyed, since I was kind of looking forward to my glass of wine. But then my mind started racing with excitement trying to figure out how to get revenge. I even forgot to call my mom, and she had to text me again before I remembered.


Anyway, this was most likely Ove’s revenge for what happened on Sunday, when I found his phone on the common room shelf. Jonas and I just couldn’t let it go, we spent some time brainstorming pranks we could do to it, since it’s generally known that Ove isn’t super tech savvy and that he doesn’t have a locked screen saver. Jonas decided that he’d do a light face rape of Ove’s Facebook account, and when he was done I thought it’d be funny to change the language settings to Chinese. We then put the phone back where we found it and went about our business.

Monday morning when I was about to leave for class, I saw the following freezer tape message on my door:
“When you least expect it, I will” followed by a dramatic rip in the tape.

Before I left I taped this to his cupboard:
“No fair! You had it coming leaving your phone unattended! If an unlocked phone is found, one must punish the owner by fucking with it… It is known!!!”

But yeah, I had to give it him, he did strike when I was not expecting him to! And to think that he lured me into a false sense of security by being all nice to me the day before. Touché!

Nevertheless, I encounter my golden opportunity for revenge this morning: I’m about to leave by bedroom to have breakfast when I notice that Ove’s door is ajar— he has a habit of leaving it ajar when he is in the kitchen or if there are people inside playing on his PlayStation. So I sneak into his room, and go straight for the mini fridge, where I gather what is rightfully mine and put it back where it belongs. I make sure to lock my door now. And I start to walk towards the kitchen when the evil genius inside my head spits out a brilliant idea… So, I sneak back into his room disconnect the DVI cable from his computer and put it, all stretched out, under his own mattress so that he won’t notice it’s there even if he lies down. Then I find a pen and a post-it.

“My weekend cleaning duties for your cable” I write and stick it at the back of the computer, for him to find when he notices that his screen isn’t working. Then I inconspicuously leave for the kitchen.

Many hours later, I taste my victory when I hear knocking on my door. I open to Ove’s rather stressed out demeanor, and I’m pretty sure my expression can’t help but exude smugness. He pushes past me into my room and starts looking for his cable.  First he rummages through my desk, then my drawers and wardrobes, then all places where he can possibly come up with to hide the cable. I just stand by my bed laughing my ass off.


“Where the hell is it?” he asks finally. No answer. “Come on, it’s not funny anymore.”

“Really? It’s not like you have any exams left,” I say between chuckles.

“I don’t, but I really want to use my computer!”

“I’ll tell you if you acknowledge my greatness,” I say sarcastically, coping him.

Never in a million years do I anticipate his next move! I’m certain he’ll whine some more as I make him squirm for a little longer, and then I’ll make him promise that he’ll do my weekend cleaning before I actually tell him. But no, he’s fast as lightning when he grabs a hold of my arms behind my back with his martial arts skills and pushes me belly down on to my bed. Taken by surprise, I have to catch my breath before mouth off:

“You know, brute force is the lowest of tactics! Only used by guys everywhere when it’s clear that the weaker party has bested you. You done now?”

“No,” he answers, then straddles me to keep the grip on my arms secure while he starts to tickle me.

Holy Christ! I’m not sure what’s happening to me, because I’m lying there, not even trying to wriggle out of his grasp laughing and screaming away. I’m not quite sure whether I am uncomfortable from the tickling or almost coming from his body’s contact with mine. It’s crazy, but I feel like I never want him to stop as I every nerve on my body is aware of his thighs around my hips, and his strong hold on my wrists against the small of my back and I’m almost able to bear his tickling. I feel myself get wet, not a little, but like a tsunami of juices— I can’t remember the last time I was so horny so quickly!— and start to worry that he’ll notice.

“Okay! Okay! Okay” I repeat for a while, before he stops his machinations so I can speak. “It’s under your mattress!” I exclaim in between giggles and he slowly releases me and leaves.

I don’ know what to do with myself… so I don’t even follow him or anything.  I don’t even know if he said something before he left— that’s how aroused and shocked I am. Eventually I slowly sit up, and feel my panties all sticky. The next thing I do is to go and lock my door, and jump in the shower so I can have my release… thinking about how strong and capable he is. He used just the right amount of force so that it didn’t even hurt when he overpowered me, which I find so freakin’ sexy.

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